Saturday, May 2, 2009

#5: Can't Buy Me Love (1987)



Can't Buy Me Love is a 1987 film directed by Steve Nash... sorry Rash starring a young and scrawny Patrick Dempsey and a bunch of 'where are they now' tv specials. Moving on.

The plot is this: Ronnie Miller, that's Patrick's character, wants nothing more then to be popular and he always figured if he dated a girl like Cindy Mancini (Amanda Peterson, who disappeared in 1995. Dead? Who knows... better yet, who cares?) who is an uber popular blonde who cheerleads. Then one very expensive suede outfit later Cindy ends up owing Ronnie 1000 bucks and what does he want in return for his hard earned dough? A one month relationship. One... month. Definitely not worth it, but whatever, it's the 80's, i'll let it slide. So yeah, that's about it. Oh, sorry, and hijinx ensue as Ronnie becomes a totally hot jerk as his new found popularity goes to his head.

This movie is, in my opinion, the quintessential 80's teen movie. The Clothes - ridiculous, the hair - outta control, the plot - predictable and cheesy. It's fun and I like it.

As I just mentioned this movie is fun and I like it, nay, love it. Patrick Dempsey is seriously adorable. Seriously. Like, adorable. Seriously, he's adorable. Just watch it. There's a 83% chance you wont hate it and a 67% chance you'll love it, as I do.

I don't really have any problems with this movie. Mostly because it's exactly what it set out to be -a cheesy date movie. You can't fault a stripper for being a hoe, it's their job. So chill.

Annnnd this is all I've got to say.

Now go watch this movie. Go... GO! Seriously, like, now. Bye.

- Courtenay

Saturday, April 18, 2009

#4: Death Proof (2007)


Death Proof is a 2007 Quentin Tarantino film starring Kurt Russel, Rosario Dawson (Clerks 2), Zoe Bell (who's an actual stunt woman, so she's essentially playing herself), Vanessa Ferlito, Sydney Tamiia Poiter, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Tracie Thoms.

Death Proof is just one half of '
Grindhouse', Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez' homage to 70's and 80's drive-in movies of the 'b' category. The other film was 'Planet Terror' -which I found hugely forgettable. All I remember was that there was zombies and Bruce Willis was in it for about 3 minutes, total...

I think Death Proof is, for the most part, a success, but it could have been SO much better. For one, it basically repeats itself in the second half. I mean, the second batch of girls are almost identical to the first,
only these bitches is fightin' back. He spent way too much time developing the first crop, did we even need them? What if we just had that first killing with the Blondie? That's all we really needed to get the 'he's a psychopath' thing across. We learned why the movie is called 'Death Proof', how his car is 'Death Proof' and why he keeps getting away with all these murders. Yeaaah, I'm beginning to like my idea more and more... Where was I when pen was put to paper? He could have easily merged these two groups of ladies into one.

Secondly, I get what
Quentin was going for with these movies, but he didn't really sell me on the 'gritty 80's b-movie' thing. Where was all the cheesy dialogue and what happened to 80's theme at the start of the second half? Suddenly it just cut and we were in 2007 again. Why?

There's a lot more things I liked about the movie, though. Like the actors, Kurt Russel played the part very well. Stuntman Mike is creepy, but he's suave, which makes you understand how he manages to lure so many woman into his cars (so we think). I think the girls were great too, especially Rosario Dawson (Abernathy). She's such a great actress, I just love her. I also really liked Zoe Bell, who's an actual stunt woman. I think she should do more acting roles, she's really very funny. I liked all the girls, honestly. Also, the music kicks ass. 'Down in Mexico' is a little gem I never would have heard if it weren't for this movie.

'He wears a red bandanna, plays a cool piana...'

Even with all it's faults I still give this movie two thumbs up!
+ You are dead inside if you don't do a fist pump at the end.
It's just mindless fun!


- Courtenay

Sunday, March 8, 2009

#3: Burn After Reading (2007)


Burn After Reading is a 2007 film directed by Joel and Ethan Coen starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand,
John Malkovich and Tilda Swinton.

'Osbourne Cox, a Balkan expert, is fired at the CIA, so he begins a memoir. His wife wants a divorce and expects her lover, Harry, a philandering State Department marshal, to leave his wife. A diskette of Osbourne's musings falls out of a gym bag at a Georgetown fitness center. Two employees there try to turn it into cash: Linda, who wants money for elective surgery, and Chad, an amiable goof. They try to sell the disc back to Osbourne, who has a short fuse, then they visit the Russian embassy. To sweeten the pot, they decide they need more of Osbourne's secrets. Meanwhile, Linda's boss likes her, and Harry's wife leaves for a book tour. All roads lead to Osbourne's house' is the plot summery on imdb.

I have a few problems with this movie. For one, the words 'burn after reading' were not mentioned once (unless I'm, like, ya know, really dumb and missed it or something). Secondly, Brad Pitt, the only funny person in this comedy, was gone half way through. Thirdly, it just ends. We never got to see a real end, all we got, like in most Coen Brothers movies, was a 5 minute wrap up talk. It's like having to leave the movie theater early. I feel jipped.

Speaking of Brad Pitt, I kinda used to hate him... like Johnny Depp! I used to think Johnny Depp was super cool with his 'I don't care' attitude. But when I saw him at the MTV movie awards, seemingly unshowered with a dirty rag in his back pocket my opinion changed to: big jerk. But, after reading into him a little more and watching 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' I like him again.

Now, I was never much of a Brad Pitt fan. I always thought (and still do think) he takes himself way too seriously (to the point were it's just obnoxious). But, after watching this and Fight Club I like him a little more. Maybe there's a personality buried under all that hair gell after all...

BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Anywho, in conclusion: I did not like this movie.
I am left with nothing but disappointment and rage.
A fine cast wasted.

The end.



-Courtenay

Monday, February 23, 2009

#2: Death at a Funeral (2007)


Death at a Funeral is a 2007 British Film directed by Frank Oz, The Stepford Wives (2004), Bowfinger (1999) [with my guy, Robert Downey Jr.]. He is famous for such voice acting as Starwars' Yoda and pretty much every Sesame Street character there is.

'Chaos ensues when a man tries to expose a dark secret regarding a recently deceased patriarch of a dysfunctional British family' is the synopsis of this retched film.

I'm about to go on an angry rant, if you were a fan of this film and wouldn't take kindly to me picking it apart until there's nothing left but a sad, little, old man doing a Yoda impression banging on the front doors of Lucas Ranch, screaming for another chance, click the red X in the top right hand corner of this window, thanks.

Not only did I find this dark comedy neither dark nor funny but I also found it slower then George Bush, on a good day. It just dragged on... and on... I saw so many perfect cutting points, but this film was so full of itself it let every single scene drag out as if hoping a joke might find itself on the way. I found no jokes. It's trying so hard to be dry but it always end up slap sticky. "Oh look, that man has feces on his face! Check that out, the creepy dwarf is a black mailing, house wreaking gay! Look there, it's the pasty naked guy from A Knights Tale and he's naked again! Ha-ha-ha!" Don't get me wrong, I love slap stick (hello, huge Kevin Smith fan typing!) but it all falls flat. I saw every joke before they were said, every plot twist before they happened. It's a frustratingly unfunny and agonizingly predictable film I beg you to avoid at all costs.

You've seen it before.


What a waste of 90 minutes.


Courtenay, out.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

#1: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Hey, I'm Courtenay of itscourtenaymmkay.

I'm a high school drama/film student who loves everything about the film industry. In 10 years I'd really like to see myself doing something in the field, whether it's directing, writing, acting, fetching the director coffee... Whatever!
I just want IN!

Thanks to my mother, I spend 99.98% of my free time watching movies. If it weren't for movies I really don't know what I'd do with myself... eat, probably.

For my first blogger review I'm going to go with the last film I watched. It's a 1991 film directed by Jonathan Demme, starring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins, called 'The Silence of the Lambs'...


Silence of the Lambs is about Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) a promising FBI trainee who is sent to Baltimore state hospital for the Criminally insane to interview inmate, Dr. Hannibal -The Cannibal- Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) figuring 'it takes one to know one' will come into play with the case of Catherine Martin, daughter of United States Senator Ruth Martin, who is presumed kidnapped by the psychotic Buffalo Bill, a serial killer who likes to 'skin his humps'...

So, I love this film. It's extremely well acted, Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins are wonderful! I don't think I've ever seen anything with Anthony Hopkins before this, so it's a good introduction to this work. I've seen a couple Jodie Foster films; Taxi Driver, Home For The Holidays (Which she directed). Both are swell for different reasons...

It's also written beautifully, directed masterfully, and paced goodly. There was never a moment where I was uninterested or bored, which is surprising seeing as my attention span is... short. The only problem I had was that Buffalo Bill wasn't developed enough as a character. I wanted a back story, something to put his actions into perspective. I guess I'll just have to read the books.

I think the coolest thing about this movie is the effect it's had on popular culture. I burst out laughing when I saw the part that 30 Rock had spoofed, even harder at the scenes Kevin Smith has spoofed.

So, out of the seven Oscars this film was nominated for it won five!
-Best Actor in a Leading Role - Anthony Hopkins
-Best Actress in a Leading Role - Jodie Foster
-Best Director - Jonathan Demme
-Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium - Ted Tally
-Oh, and Best Picture. No biggie.

So, check this film out, that is, if you haven't already. It truly is fantastic.

Until next week... Courtenay, out.